Question: I don’t get along with my manager but I really like our company. Should I leave, or should I wait until our relationship changes?
Murtaza says:
This is not an easy situation to navigate. Hating a boss is a big reason that many start a job search over. Consider this; you could take a gamble, find another job and everything could work out. But truthfully, you’ll always run into conflict and opposing personalities. So leaving may not be the best solution.
It’s like saying, “I am married but don’t get along with spouse. Should I divorce them or wait till the relationship changes?” I promise you, if you wait you will die waiting! You need to actively work on the relationship. Be mindful and ask yourself what you can do to make it better. What is in your control that you can change for a better outcome? You could be a fantastic employee but it doesn’t hurt to evaluate yourself as a possible reason why you and your boss aren’t getting along.
On the same note, jot down good qualities you like about your manager, job and the company. Remind yourself why you love it there. Look at the bigger picture and consider an internal transfer. No job description will ever say “Must be nice”. But a good work culture is where everyone is treated fairly and respectfully. You deserve that. Upon completing this list, if the good outweighs the bad, then I encourage you to shift departments.
Relationships take two, or more, to tango. In some cases, other team members’ personalities and negative perspectives create discord between you and your manager. Similar to how siblings tell on one another to their parents to get them in trouble. Where lies or exaggeration, a conscious leader sifts through it all to find peaceful ways to manage, resolve and avoid similar cases in future.
Observe; people who get along are people to get to know one another’s backgrounds, motivations and situations. Whatever differences arise, find time out of work to get to know others. Develop an appreciation for that they bring to the table. This will encourage you to take on their strength and let go their challenges. This culture of trust and openness will help you bond using what you have in common, instead of focusing on the divisive aspects.
Bonding with your boss isn’t something imperative when it comes to excelling in the workplace but it has serious positive impacts on your career. It has also been directly linked to increased productivity and good physical and mental health. At an official capacity, find out what are your personal and joint needs, and then deliver on those. If your boss appreciates timeliness, stick to the schedule and don’t delay work if you can help it. Strive to have constructive feedback in conversations. Don’t be a yes-person, but intentionally create favorable opinions around your work ethic and positive contributions.
During non-work conversations the rule of thumb is to keep things light and fun. You may not want to bring up controversial topics to someone you’re trying to impress. Also avoid over sharing, graphics details and hogging the spotlight (talking too much). I am suggesting authentic communication and presenting yourself in the best light so your manager sees all the reasons you’re likeable.
Conclusively whether you chose to stay or go is entirely up to you. Keep in mind the good lessons and cautionary tales your manager offered along the way. Learn from their mistakes in how they dealt with the situations. This will help you when it is your turn to lead. Focus on your work and always keep the end goal in mind when creating quality output. Once you have found the sweet spot, changes are bound to start happening.